Epic Default Productions

So I noticed (out of a begrudging sigh from someone eye shuh-l not mention) that I started this whole webcomic review with rom-coms. In a pitiful attempt to regain the semblance of masculinity I swear up and down I have to any girl blind enough to sleep with me, I now present to you something more closely resembling a “proper” webcomic. Let the battle begin.

(Ranting to commence in 3, 2, 1…)

What follows is Part I of a twisted, part-story, part-history of a formerly prevalent form of gaming. Read on if you dare gaze upon the twisted face of what once was — or if you’re simply curious as to what PC gamers are rambling on about as you pass them by on the street refusing to offer spare change. Parts Two, and perhaps Three, are to come.

It is a phenomenon considered elitist to some, archaic to others, but to a select few, it is a way of life. I speak, as the title belies, of the LAN party – one of the geekiest known forms of entertainment by anybody’s reckoning. One may wonder why the standard-bearers of this institution carry on, even in the face of the MMOG and console multiplayer; indeed, when more prevalent and less expensive technologies become the norm, why would anyone persist with an outmoded, financially burdening form of the art? The deranged ramblings of an old man follow…

Dear Sony:

Thank you again for the lovely Playstation 3. I confess, you guys came up with a heck of a scheme to sell them. $250 Playstations? Even I couldn’t resist, and while I’ll be paying off and closing my Sony Card the moment the first bill arrives, you still have to be praised for a clever hook.

Now, I understand you folks have to drum up certain technologies, specifically Blu-Ray. You guys spent a lot of money on developing it, marketing it, and paying movie studios to drop HD-DVD (yeah, you claim otherwise, but it’s still pretty suspicious). It’s natural for you to call Blu-Ray releases to my attention — indeed, I am intrigued by the prospect of seeing some films in high-definition.

Just try to know your audience, okay? Mention Serenity, or The Dark Knight, or Sin City, or even Hackers, and I’ll probably be intrigued enough to pick up a Blu-Ray Disc. However, there are some films which I doubt really gain anything out of the 1080p, full-surround experience, indeed, it’s questionable that the directors considered these movies to be big-screen pictures.

Simply put, Step Brothers is not going to convince me to go Blu-Ray.

Just, you know, try a little harder. You’ll seperate me from more of my money one of these times, I’m sure.

Still not buying a PSP,
- Oz

(I don’t even know what this is supposed to be, but it showed up under a Google Image Search for “memetics.” Speaking of which, it’s worthy of note that I use the term “memetic” in an odd way here: take it to mean ideas spread compulsively, rather than ideas that spread themselves.)

I-realize-now-that-I-will-probably-cut-everything-I-write-at-Epic-Default