Epic Default Productions

I heard a quote on NPR the other morning that got my brain working overtime.  Guillermo del Toro, director of many great movies, said “In the next 10 years, there will be an earthshaking Citizen Kane of games.”  Although I have not made a determination on whether his statement is correct, in either the sheer elegance or time-frame of said game, I did wonder, “What video game(s) out today would come close (or maybe even meet) the criteria of Citizen Kane?”

Something catchy about Rosebud to make you giggle

On a quest to uncover the classics, I have dived into another NES-tastic game.

No case too big, no case to small

What follows is Part I of a twisted, part-story, part-history of a formerly prevalent form of gaming. Read on if you dare gaze upon the twisted face of what once was — or if you’re simply curious as to what PC gamers are rambling on about as you pass them by on the street refusing to offer spare change. Parts Two, and perhaps Three, are to come.

It is a phenomenon considered elitist to some, archaic to others, but to a select few, it is a way of life. I speak, as the title belies, of the LAN party – one of the geekiest known forms of entertainment by anybody’s reckoning. One may wonder why the standard-bearers of this institution carry on, even in the face of the MMOG and console multiplayer; indeed, when more prevalent and less expensive technologies become the norm, why would anyone persist with an outmoded, financially burdening form of the art? The deranged ramblings of an old man follow…

(Apologies to those who saw this early: lawl WordPress scheduling. Also, this is tagged LTTP because it fits the profile to a degree, and also because CW’s idea is a damned good one.)

I acquired a copy of Call of Duty 4 for 360, used, after continued insistence from a console-supremacist friend. CoD4 itself was nothing new to me — having owned the game on PC since release, in addition to previously being a fan of the series — but I figured it afforded me a chance to make a straight apples to apples comparison between platforms. Indeed, CoD4 has been hailed as a truly sublime console shooter, came in second only to Microsoft’s Halo 3 for Live activity in 2008, and was only recently usurped by its Treyarch-developed sequel, World at War, while still regularly appearing in the top ten. In all, it’s pretty clear that Infinity Ward did something very right in every version of their game, PC and 360 alike.

To be entirely honest, though, I played my 360 copy only once. One time. I started CoD4, played a round online with the aforementioned friend, and then immediately shelved it. My mind had already been made up; there was no way the console version could match up to the Windows release. This is a typical line of thinking for me, one challenged more and more as I’ve come to own current consoles, but still a common first assumption.

This past weekend, I played a few intense rounds of laser tag. In an effort to be, and I quote, “tactical as hell,” I spent most of the game crouched — an action, which, as it turns out, is a lot harder than it looks. As my thighs ached, reminding me just how out of shape I really am, the urge came upon me to play some Call of Duty 4. This left me with two options, and I chose the option that allowed me to recline comfortably at the couch. “At very least,” I thought as the 360 began spinning the disc, “I can give the two a proper comparison.”

(continue reading…)

So I guess this is nothing new but it’s interesting looking back on it now. The development that has taken place to the existence of video games in the main stream.

The way the world worked beforehand was that people that played video games were flat out nerds. If you played video games and you had a semblance of a social life, you more then likely didn’t talk about your gaming. The gaming industry was fine with closet nerds funding their investments. Then it became not enough. I’m not sure if it was a few too many random break outs that crossed into popularity or the video game industry trying to expand or a combination of the two or a JFK assassination-esqe consipracy involving every facet of the power structure that controls every aspect of our lives. But either way we suddenly started to get to video games being popular. “Cool” even.

With the popularity though, eventually the inevitable was brought upon us. Video games for every god-damn thing. Fantasy games, I understand; sci-fi games, I understand, war games, I understand (and liked the movie). Barbie games… what the fuck?! I hate to sound sexist but when the fuck does there need to be games about playing dolls? If you can afford to get something for cheaper then the game and system, and you like to do it, then just go ahead and do it. Although I would say that GTA does not apply to this little philosophical application I just laid out. Yes you could get a hooker for a cheaper price then the game, but I just wouldn’t recommend it. For your safety above all else.

To be honest though, I feel the need to turn the tables on the other end of the spectrum. Does there need to be playboy games? Does a game purely about sex and fucking different women really need ot be released. I’m going use this point to take a couple steps into the fan service bit. WTF mates?! You are truly perpetuating the stereotype of gamers by making every woman in every video game “Smoking hot”. It’s bullshit. You push high expectations for guys that have enough brains to know that they can never meet them. So what ends up happening? Too many times (even once being too many) you end up breeding guys that become assholes when it comes to women or guys that would rather just not attempt to socialize with members of the opposite sex. That is wrong. I’m not for one second saying that the video game industry is the only one to blame, but they certainly aren’t helping.

In the end, I like that video game culture is becoming larger. Though I will say this. I was never afraid to admit to people that I played video games. If I got shit for it, so what. The fact that now I can do the same thing and actually have a conversation with someone over it is pretty damn cool. But I don’t see the need for video games for everything. Let those other genres of media cover it. I’ll just relax and relish in my RPG in peace and tranquility. Just please refrain from the main character TOO frackin’ emo.

I’ve been noticing a trend lately.

As one of my previous posts states, I was out of gaming for a long time, so this has probably been a problem for a while now, and it might be too late to fix. But that’s not going to stop me from bitching about it.

What happened to Multiplayer? No, I’m not talking about online gaming, I enjoy that. I think it’s an awesome innovation (for consoles, I realize it’s been around for a while on PCs). What I’m talking about is the invite your friends over to your place for an all out, split screen battle royal. Where did that go?

Oops, I said a dirty word, split screen. I can hear all of you shiver at the thought. You’re the people I’m looking at while I pound the keys to oblivion writing this. Most “multiplayer” games out there now require you to have an Internet connection, and your only interaction with your opponents outside of the physical game is through an earpiece and, in rare cases, a camera.

I’m probably going to catch a lot of flak for this, but that form of interaction disinterests me. I’d much rather have someone sitting next to me who I can beat with my controller when they are sniping me from some hidden location, or fucking up the drums on “Still Alive.”

Yes, I still play Halo, because it has split screen. The game itself is very meh, but the multiplayer aspect, be it online or in person, is still great to this day. Especially when you play “Drunken Halo”, the drinking game the other Fanboys and I came up with one night. If you’re looking for a quick way to get smashed, try it. I have yet to play Call of Duty 4 (it’s in my Game Q, relax) and Rock Band (I’m as pissed as you are), but I’m sure they would inspire the same joy that Halo does in me.

When GTAIV came out, and I heard it had a multiplayer, I was ecstatic. I envisioned my friends and I reeking havoc together within Liberty City. Needless to say, I was rather disappointed when I found it’s only online. However, that I can understand. The world is pretty damn big; so it would probably be a lot of searching for each other, followed by 10 seconds of a good firefight, then back to searching again.

You probably saw Anthony’s review on Mario Kart Wii, in which he asked Nintendo “What the Fuck?” when describing their multiplayer aspect. No longer can you have an all for one battle to see who is supreme. You now need teams, and I have to say, I agree with Anthony. I’m not even going to go into how much Brawl’s multiplayer sucked. I will say this though; cool your jets on the wide-angle lens.

I’m excited reading about Quantum of Solace, the next game in the 007 series. I think we all can agree that Goldeneye was the forerunner to multiplayer gaming on consoles. In turn we all can agree that, every other Bond game after that should probably be thrown into the same dump that ET is in. So when I hear that the same guys who did CoD4 are putting this game together, I get a little giddy.

So here’s an open request to Treyarch. Please, please, PLEASE keep the multiplayer on a single game. Don’t make me have to get on Xbox Live to play with others as Bond. Let’s be honest, the campaign mode, more than likely, will be underwhelming at best. And if that’s the case, it will be hard for me to get my friends to buy it, just to play online. Please, let me, this one last time, invite my friends over, order a pizza, let the beverages flow, and have a fun night of actual, social gaming.

I’ll get off my knees now.

Where it really ticked me off was Burnout Paradise. The Burnout franchise is screaming for multiplayer. The split screen driving on the previous games were just a schizophrenic joyride through the streets looking for your next target. Paradise moved that online, too. So now I have to get my friends to get the game, just to have some sort of multiplayer fun with it.

I think I may have just found the reasoning behind this. Like most things, it’s the almighty dollar. Why put a decent multiplayer system for home gaming in a game, when, if you take that out, more people with have to buy the game in order to play with each other? Then, more than likely, you’ll have to spend more money to get the Internet connection, and, in Microsatan’s case, more money to be able to use that connection to play your game with others.

And people wonder why the game prices are so high. It’s not the cost of production, packaging, shipping, whatever. It’s the fact that we are willing to pay that much, simply out of necessity. The sad part is I have no ideas as to how to fix it. They snuck this under our nose and we allowed them to do it. Now, it’s such a nail in the gaming universe, that the only way to stop it, is to give up gaming all together. That’s a situation that has a zero to nil chance of ever happening.

Jesus, time to schedule another Drunken Halo night.

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Okay people, I’m stealing Anthony’s soapbox for a minute.

First, let me give you a little background on myself. I started my gaming life like most people my age (at least I would hope or else this is going to be an exercise of how old I feel) on a Commodore 64. I also started at the end of the Arcade Boom, so I got to see such classics as Pole Position, the entire Pac-Man series (in the US at least), Tempest, and Galaga in their full, unadulterated glory.

My family got the NES a couple of years before they debuted the SNES, and up until the N64 I had every system that they made (yes, even the Virtual Boy…I’m shivering now). I even was an original subscriber to Nintendo Power. I was the proud owner of a Genesis and a Game Gear, and appreciated most of the games that came out, although I thought the Nintendo franchise had better quality games at that time. Don’t bother throwing shit at me for that last comment. It won’t stop me from knowing I was right.

Then, just after Goldeneye, two things happened. I entered high school, and therefore suppressed this particular character trait in order to gain the acceptance that I so desperately craved (a weak moment, I admit, but what can I do about it now). Plus, I began my working life, so I really had no time to play any games except for a racing game here and there on a cheap Playstation that I found at a garage sale, and of course the Guitar Hero series on an equally cheap PS2 I found at another garage sale. I had a three month addiction to War Crack somewhere in there as well, but wasn’t as hardcore as some of the stories you hear on that front.

That was all until one faithful night when I was hanging out at a friend’s house. He had a 360, an LCD flat screen with Surround Sound, and just picked up BioShock. I had heard about the game, and he let me play a little. Fifteen hours later, gaming and general nerd culture had grabbed me by the ear and dragged me back home, where I belonged, after ten long years. No seriously, ten years…plus a day.† Go ahead and wiki the release dates of Goldeneye and BioShock if you don’t believe me. Since then, I’ve been playing what I could on the little money I could put together in order to feed the addiction.

For those of you wondering what the point of that ramble is, I’m getting to it. Bear with me a few more moments whilst I review what I just said. If you notice, there are only two PC related things in that rant. So, according to some people I’ve met in the past few months, including Anthony, my best friend for six years now, I can sum up those four paragraphs with one sentence.

I’ve never played Doom.

For those of you still reading, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those of you who are still reading, just to get ammo of how I’m a n00b, or I shouldn’t be writing anything about games, because I haven’t played the Granddaddy of all FPS’s, shut it, you fucking twat, because I’m about to own you like a 12 year old.

True, I haven’t played Doom, however, I know about the game. As much as it was ahead of it’s time and introduced many things that we take for granted now in video games, it’s not that hard to grasp the concept of it. To this day, I can hold my own in a conversation about the plot (which isn’t saying much) and I have the utmost respect for the aforementioned qualities that it brought to the table. Although I have not played it (relax, I will at sometime), essentially I know my roots. I actively (and knowingly) celebrate what it gave us, all those years ago. Which is a hell of a lot better than a good majority of the gamers you interact with on a daily basis in this time and place.

I guarantee if you poll a number of the “hardcore” gamers of today, a decent amount of them will have never heard of the Atari 2600, hell, more will probably not believe that there was a time where a single dot moving across the screen, brought the same amount of joy that shooting a hooker on the street does today…in Video Game format. I don’t want to hear about an increase in prostitute murders being blamed on me, thank you very much.

Which is fine, really. You’re going to get that in any sort of market that’s been around as long as gaming has. Sure, they are annoying as hell and you feel a lot older, but what’s wrong with that? Getting older means you get to tell stories. You can blow the minds of the little one’s now. Video Games have become the “Twelve miles in the snow, uphill, both ways” story of our generation. And think of it. How annoying is that story the twentieth time you’ve heard it? Go ahead, pass that joy on to the children. They are our future, you know.

Essentially what I’m getting at is, gaming as a culture polarizes itself away from the rest of the world. It’s not the nerds that are socially awkward, it’s the culture. People treat it like some secret society with a handshake that involves fifteen different motions. The problem with that being the case is that it seeps into the culture itself. Look at the console wars. We should be celebrating that there are three console keeping prices down (comparatively, also a concept that Sony should wake up to). But instead, all you hear is this console is better than that console, usually followed by “you’re a fucktard” or something equally moronic.

If you look at each individual console with an open mind, more than likely, you will find something you will enjoy with that particular console. And isn’t that what gaming is about? Well that and enjoying something while you pass the time, either with friends, or alone…for some of us…I mean you. Why must there be a fight? Why does one have to be better than the other? This type of rampant Fanboyism is going to kill the one good thing we have right now, which is the ability to be social. If we keep boxing ourselves in like this, eventually we’re all going to be agoraphobic, virtual pet keeping weirdoes. We’ve already got the weirdo part down, but weird is good, in moderation.

“But Jonny, if you are so against Fanboyism, why is your blog called Fanboys?” Well, ignoring the fact that it’s what the UT television show that we are basing this off of was called, our blog is called that because we are Fanboys. We are fans of gaming, in general, and of all factions. Both Anthony and I are retro gamers, arcade gamers, console gamers, tabletop gamers, PC gamers (Anthony more than myself), and the occasional sports gamer.

Wait a minute, this sounds familiar doesn’t it? Oh that’s right, Wil Wheaton said this in his infamous PAX 07 keynote speech. And, oh yes, people actually applauded him when he stated this, so I know there are gamers out there who agree with me. Why can’t gaming itself be like that? Gaming is aging, there’s going to be a new crop of gamers every generation. Soon, it will become historical; there will be no more working Commodore 64′s, NES’s, Genesis’s, and no more Virtual Boy’s (thank god). The people of our generation are going to be the one’s keeping that part of gaming in the public knowledge, making sure we celebrate the innovations, and keeping the mistakes from being repeated. We need to be a single entity, not separate factions. So put down your rocket launchers, sniper rifles, and gravity guns and start uniting. Acoustic guitars and Kumbayas aren’t necessary but how about a handshake and game without making references to each other’s mother’s love life and our roles in it. *

And for God’s sake, I’ll fucking play Doom at some point!

*Line stolen from Wil Wheaton’s keynote speech, because it’s that damn good.

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