Epic Default Productions

This week was a very slow week for news, but we still found ten stories for us to make witty remarks at. Hit the jump for them.

Quantum Physics can now be seen
Scientists have shown the state of movement and non-movement in a experiment visible to the naked eye.

JonnyNero: After reading the article, I’m still not sure how, but this would be interesting to see…and not see at the same time.

JakePrime: This is one big Quantum Leap for science. Yes, I went there.

Thanda: In a similar report, the scientists who performed the experiment both disappeared and stayed exactly where they were.

360′s getting USB hard drive support
As a replacement to the memory units, in the 2010 update, Xbox 360s will have the ability to use USB storage devices like a hard drive.

JN: In the immortal words of Gabe…”woo!”

JP: *Hallelujah Chorus*

T: A feature that should have been in there to begin with.

Snifit: Now my USB drives can have a 50 percent failure rate as well! (RIP, Xbawksy, you are missed)

Supersonic Free fall
A man is going to attempt to break the sound barrier by jumping out of a balloon 23 miles above the surface of the earth.

JN: “No one knows what will happen to his body when he breaks the barrier,” I would think that would be something important to know.

JP: Think of the wind resistance…

T: This just seems like it would.. be a bad idea.

S: His face is going to melt off. Not because of the speed, but because of the AWESOME.

Mood Lipstick
There is a new lipstick on the market that is formulated to change color as the wearers mood changes

JN: Finally! I’ll be able to know for absolute certain that my advances…are so totally not working

JP: “What does pale with white dots mean?” “Leprosy.”

T: Yeah… that’s not gonna sell well.

S: Like anyone is going to wear this anyway.

Bill Paxton Pinball
A man has taken the time to craft a pinball table, from scratch, dedicated to Bill Paxton

JN: …why?

JP: Why not?!

T: So THIS is what Ben Heck does when he’s not being FUCKING AMAZING

S: Someone has too much time on their hands. But that’s a good thing, because they would probably be a serial killer without this project.

NASA Movie Posters
Some genius at NASA (and I use the term literally, not facetiously) has made movie posters for the Space Shuttle Missions.

JN: Now all they need is to resurrect the trailer voice guy to do the countdowns.

JP: Why haven’t they done a Mission to Mars poster yet?

T:  I thought this was a photoshop contest to begin with.

S: VOYAGER: THE MOVIE

Ski Free coming to iPhone
The little, yet popular game from windows whatever point whatsits is now in a hand held version.

JN: So I can totally fail at this game in public now!

JP: I’m calling it right now, someone is gonna get hurt skiing while playing ski free on their phone.

T: Can’t wait for Apple to remove it!

S: Those damn yetis can’t catch me now!

Apple banning protective film from it’s stores
In a move that is confounding, Apple will no longer carry protective screen covers in its stores, both online and terrestrial.

JP: Where will they earn $50 on cheap plastic now?

T: Can’t wait for Apple to remove… oh wait.

S: Y’know, you think this would drive away fanboys, but this just means that when their macbook gets scratched up, they have to buy a new one.

Gamers can Change the World
Jane McGonigal says that because we’re good at saving virtual worlds, we should be able to handle the real world as well.

JN: LFG: Economy, President

JP: I would help the world, but I have to level up first…

T: BAD IDEA

S: PEW PEW PEW, VIDEO GAEM MAN IS HERE!

Valve is the new Marvel
A man compares Valve to Marvel back in the 1960′s, in which he says that there is a similar shift occurring between the two.

JP: So is the Heavy Medic combo similar to the Fastball Special?

T: So that means only… 45 years till really amazing movies!   And maybe Episode 3 of Half Life 2.

S: So does that mean Gabe Newell is the new Stan Lee? EXCELSIOR! 

If you have any comments on these stories, leave one in the comments section. If you have any suggestions for stories, do the same, or e-mail us at epicdefault@gmail.com

Next week’s installment will not happen, since most of our staff will be attending PAX East! The bastards…